When grief strikes, it is important not to make too many drastic changes such as moving, changing jobs, changing schools, or having a baby. Wait a good year. If possible, make changes slowly. Routine can help stabilize your life. Drastic changes can make grief worse.
Men and women may choose to do things they normally wouldn't do after experiencing grief. It is important to avoid destructive behaviors and incorporate healthy ones. Knowing the differences of how men and women grieve may help in the grieving process when dealing with grief.
1. Talk about their emotions- When grief happens, it helps women tremendously to be able to have a place to pour their emotions. By talking about the emotions of grief it helps them move through their process.
2. Like to connect with other women who have been through the same thing. Having a grief connection really helps women in their grief process. It helps them validate their feelings, of what they are feeling is normal.
3. Talk about their child or loved one- because they want to remember and cherish their memory. Saying their name validates they existed and means they are remembered.
4. Do things in honor of their child or loved one- By doing things in honor or in memory of their child or loved one, it helps women feel that they are doing something for their loved one. That they are not forgetting them and their memory is living on through them.
5. Cry- It is okay to cry. Crying helps release emotions and feelings of grief and it is a normal part of the process.
1. Internalize their emotions- Men typically do not talk about their emotions that come with grief. By talking or showing their emotions it is portrayed as weakness in their minds, when actually it is the normal part of grief and not weakness at all. Men typically want to be portrayed as the protector and cannot portray this role when the emotion of grief erupts.
2. Keep Busy- Keeping busy helps masque the emotion of grief for short awhile. Diving into busyness can be a temporary measure for dealing with grief, a way to avoid it and not deal with it.
3. Do not like to stir up their emotions- Men typically do not like to relive or revisit their emotions. By not talking about their grief it helps them 'avoid' their emotions. It is common for men to not talk about their emotions.
4. Avoid, feel guilty and blame themselves- When a child passes away, men can feel that they are to blame for something they have done as if the 'deserved' or are being 'punished' for something they have done. It is common to feel guilty for the child's passing especially if it is a genetic disorder, men can feel they are responsible for passing their genes to their child, which caused their death. When all of these emotions are too much, avoidance of talking or dealing with emotions of grief is very common.
5. Do things in honor of their child or loved one- Out of all of the responses to grief this is a common response both men and women have. This is especially important if both men and woman can come together
1. Support each other whether or not you agree.
2. Hug each other often.
3. Listen to each other.
4. Be there for each other.
5. Give each other time and space if needed.
Recognizing the differences in the way men and women grieve can really help in one's grief process. It can help the other person put into perspective, just because a person is grieving differently doesn't mean it is wrong, just different. Finding healthy ways to grieve is important in balancing the emotions of grief. If one is having trouble coping or dealing with grief it is always recommended to get professional help from a licensed professional.
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